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Aftermath? [19 Jun 2005|06:16pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Um... what can I say.

Im not with Jackson anymore. Thats for sure. Something inside tells me it was too easy. Was it? I dont know anymore. Im constantly tired and I have this frustrating headache. I seem o remember hitting my head, but even then I can be sure. My dreams these days are so vivd, but when I look at them they blue. Its just so.. frustrating.

Darkling's asleep now, I hope he dosent mind me using his internet. I saw his entry. Makes me really feel horrible about almost drowning him. I wish it could have been Jackson drowning. Then I wouldnt have cared. The first time he came to pick me up, he was a complete and utter a-hole. He didnt need to say or do anything, although he did something that night I dont think ill ever get out of my head.

Then weeks past and I got used to either doigng the right thing or being hit. On occasion hed get drunk, and would take something I did or didnt do to punish me once more. The month before Darkling got back, was horrible. Hed found a group of online friends or so he told me, that were telling him, what would and i quote 'get me off' so whats he do.

Ill leave that up to whoemever really wants to think about that. I think the last straw was when he stuck me up against the wall, did what he wanted and took a good hit to my kidneys. So I went to Richards. Here I am now, although I just want all this to be over. I dont want people seeing pictures of me, or knowing everything that happened. Its degrading.

I cant write anymore. Im just too tired.. again. Why do I always want to sleep.

Enter Lab

Weird Dream [14 Jun 2005|10:22pm]
Woah... You have NO idea the dream I just had. Beats the shit out of the dreams I usually have. I dreampt I had my kidneys removed and this guy called 'the boss' was rigging me up.. Bastard. Jackie wackie was dead LMAO, and I remember that guy from next door. Chance I think. He was there trying to snap me out of this trance.

I really need to wonder where my minds going. I ne3ed to keep focused. Apparently I go in for surgery soon. Its only been.. WHat 6 months. I know Darkling misses me. I think. Jackson.. Well that bastard said I wasnt psychologically ready Perhaps I wasnt. No.. I know I wasnt. I was being a martyr.

Now to pull out all the stops.
Enter Lab

Internet rights and regulations. [20 Dec 2004|04:06am]
[ mood | amused ]

AUTHORISED PERSONEL ONLY

Enter Lab

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